Where to start... I have spent the last 12 months digging a little bit deeper. I have done this through reading, meditation, learning more about Buddhism, practising self awareness and affirmations. I have also entered the world of listening to podcasts, which has been life changing! A lot of people will meet me and will see a positive, bubbly and confident exterior. The very very few see the deeper, self conscious, fearful, imposter interior. I have spent many years burying it as I once internalised these qualities as weaknesses. I now view these sides of me as authentic, honest & genuine. The world of social care can be very anxiety provoking. The emotional desire to do the very best for the humans we want to empower. The demands of statutory duties, regulations, policies, procedures. The importance of getting things 'right' in such complex, unique situations. All of this can create an inauthentic mask. The children and families we look after, our colleagues, our organisations sense this and it is very difficult to form meaningful relationships. The pandemic bred unauthenticity in so many ways. The virtual call came through and the mask came up. How did we hug our someone when they were struggling through a screen? How did we put boundaries in place in a world that became so blurred. Taking the decision to step out of this world for a short while has given me so much clarity. Everything makes sense about what is coming next... My desire to do what I'm on this earth to do. Love, support and empower those who need it the most. This time I'm going forward with an acceptance that we are all perfectly imperfect and there is only one of our beautiful souls to make this world a better place. None of us are fearless but being our authentic self and showing ourselves kindness can help us fear less.
Love Carly- The Vision :)